Every now and then, I meet people that my husband works with, or is friends with from gaming or some other activity. Now that we live together, it’s more meeting his friends from work. He has always had female friends, and I have had male friends, and we have been able to maintain a strong relationship long distance to now without issues. We have always trusted that there was nothing to worry about simply because we knew that neither of us would stray. This trust has come from many different aspects, but two have stood out to me the last few times I have met people.
He tells me about them prior, usually more than once, and says “I think you would two would get along!” and hopes to have us meet.
When I meet them, other than introduction, the first thing they say to me is “I’m so happy to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you!”
I always feel like a celebrity, hearing that they have wanted to meet me for so long, or have heard things about me that made them want to meet me. Knowing that my husband talks me up to his friends, while I don’t hear of it regularly, always makes me smile to know that he wants to talk about me to his friends. I hope everyone is able to be this kind of partner and find this kind of partner in their lives, because it is amazing.
3 years later, I still find that grief comes in waves. I am working on a paper for school, and taking breaks to mourn you. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, and the past 3 years I have probably celebrated it the least in my entire life. While I want to celebrate now and have an amazing time (in your memory and for me), I continue to find it a challenge. My life is different because of you, and it is different without you. I wish I could hear you on the phone or have you for another visit, and tell stories to each other late into the night as we catch up on what has been happening. Reminisce about our travels abroad, and chatter about the travel we hope to do yet. I have loved our little visits, although they pale in comparison to hanging out in person. I love you, dude.
So it has been about a month since I lost one of my best friends here at college. This past week, I have felt almost normal again. Yet the grief will still creep up on me at random moments. I never felt how heavy such a small organ like the heart could feel. Or the whole body for that matter. I can’t imagine what her family is going through, having their first family gathering since she passed away so suddenly and without reason. She wasn’t murdered, drunk or sick. She just passed away at the age of 21. That’s still the hardest part. That I can’t know what actually happened. That I can’t call her and text her and talk about future travel plans we had, yet I don’t have a reason as to why that is. It has been such a healing process the last couple weeks, and the dance department has all been such a wonderful support, the glue holding us all together. It is really a reminder to be so thankful everyday. I am so thankful to have family that supports me (even if they want me to stay close to home when it’s not the best option), to have a wonderful Godfather who keeps in touch despite being halfway across the country, to have wonderful friends, like Christina, who I can laugh with, talk with and create awesome memories with, to have a connection with the other beautiful ladies of this blog, and to have such a wonderful boyfriend who supports me, loves me and hopes for my best success. He helps even while he’s all the way in Colorado-a new challenge for our already long-distance, now we have a 2 hour time difference I wish that Christina was still physically here, but she has been showing us that she’s okay. I just miss her so damn much.