3 years later, I still find that grief comes in waves. I am working on a paper for school, and taking breaks to mourn you. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, and the past 3 years I have probably celebrated it the least in my entire life. While I want to celebrate now and have an amazing time (in your memory and for me), I continue to find it a challenge. My life is different because of you, and it is different without you. I wish I could hear you on the phone or have you for another visit, and tell stories to each other late into the night as we catch up on what has been happening. Reminisce about our travels abroad, and chatter about the travel we hope to do yet. I have loved our little visits, although they pale in comparison to hanging out in person. I love you, dude.
It is amazing to me the drastic change the loss of a loved one can have on a person. I feel like I am somehow the same person and different ever since losing my best friend…it’s been almost three years now somehow. This past weekend, I spent three days with children who are all facing grief and loss of someone important in their lives. These losses ranged from baby siblings, older siblings, parents (sometimes both) all the way to grandparents or even best friends. Hearing their stories, and watching them process their grief through activities was awesome. One moment, they were playing and laughing, running around, to the next moment where there would be comfort, serious conversations and tears.
They built forts…
…had the opportunity to go canoeing, kayaking, or fishing on a beautiful lake…
….and be around nature and others in grief for healing.
The 10-12 boys who I was a counselor for chose the name of Chubby Pirates for a cabin name, and had such a blast meeting friends.
It is strange to see young children make so many changes and share intimate details about their feelings, and then never see/talk to them again. I feel like I am still processing my own feelings from this weekend, but loved the experience and am honored to have been a part of the process for these kids.