It is amazing to me the drastic change the loss of a loved one can have on a person. I feel like I am somehow the same person and different ever since losing my best friend…it’s been almost three years now somehow. This past weekend, I spent three days with children who are all facing grief and loss of someone important in their lives. These losses ranged from baby siblings, older siblings, parents (sometimes both) all the way to grandparents or even best friends. Hearing their stories, and watching them process their grief through activities was awesome. One moment, they were playing and laughing, running around, to the next moment where there would be comfort, serious conversations and tears.
They built forts…
…had the opportunity to go canoeing, kayaking, or fishing on a beautiful lake…
….and be around nature and others in grief for healing.
The 10-12 boys who I was a counselor for chose the name of Chubby Pirates for a cabin name, and had such a blast meeting friends.
It is strange to see young children make so many changes and share intimate details about their feelings, and then never see/talk to them again. I feel like I am still processing my own feelings from this weekend, but loved the experience and am honored to have been a part of the process for these kids.
I am so excited to share that my husband and I will be welcoming a puppy into our little family! We were originally planning on waiting until I was done with school, but my schedule changes allow for some more wiggle room, and we saw some puppies up for adoption that we just fell in love with. We filled out the application, had the home check yesterday, and will be meeting the puppy and taking him home today!! My husband has waited his entire life to have his own dog, so he is beyond excited, and I am also excited for this next step for our family. Pictures may come later, if I think of it!
So it has been about a month since I lost one of my best friends here at college. This past week, I have felt almost normal again. Yet the grief will still creep up on me at random moments. I never felt how heavy such a small organ like the heart could feel. Or the whole body for that matter. I can’t imagine what her family is going through, having their first family gathering since she passed away so suddenly and without reason. She wasn’t murdered, drunk or sick. She just passed away at the age of 21. That’s still the hardest part. That I can’t know what actually happened. That I can’t call her and text her and talk about future travel plans we had, yet I don’t have a reason as to why that is. It has been such a healing process the last couple weeks, and the dance department has all been such a wonderful support, the glue holding us all together. It is really a reminder to be so thankful everyday. I am so thankful to have family that supports me (even if they want me to stay close to home when it’s not the best option), to have a wonderful Godfather who keeps in touch despite being halfway across the country, to have wonderful friends, like Christina, who I can laugh with, talk with and create awesome memories with, to have a connection with the other beautiful ladies of this blog, and to have such a wonderful boyfriend who supports me, loves me and hopes for my best success. He helps even while he’s all the way in Colorado-a new challenge for our already long-distance, now we have a 2 hour time difference I wish that Christina was still physically here, but she has been showing us that she’s okay. I just miss her so damn much.