Tag Archives: personal

Grief and Loss

It is amazing to me the drastic change the loss of a loved one can have on a person. I feel like I am somehow the same person and different ever since losing my best friend…it’s been almost three years now somehow. This past weekend, I spent three days with children who are all facing grief and loss of someone important in their lives. These losses ranged from baby siblings, older siblings, parents (sometimes both) all the way to grandparents or even best friends.  Hearing their stories, and watching them process their grief through activities was awesome. One moment, they were playing and laughing, running around, to the next moment where there would be comfort, serious conversations and tears.

They built forts…

…had the opportunity to go canoeing, kayaking, or fishing on a beautiful lake…

….and be around nature and others in grief for healing.

The 10-12 boys who I was a counselor for chose the name of Chubby Pirates for a cabin name, and had such a blast meeting friends.

It is strange to see young children make so many changes and share intimate details about their feelings, and then never see/talk to them again. I feel like I am still processing my own feelings from this weekend, but loved the experience and am honored to have been a part of the process for these kids.

 

 

 

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Baby Fever

The baby fever has been hitting me hard lately! Andy and I are surrounded by many friends (I think about 15 at this point) who are all pregnant and due this summer. A lot of conversations in my life are related to pregnancy decisions, and soon it will be parenting, just from what is going on for all of them! SO MANY BABIES coming this summer.

Andy and I continue to remind ourselves to take our time, and we like being able to enjoy married life, just over a year into our marriage. Going to school full time and work is taking up so much time, and Andy isn’t set in his job right at this moment, so adding kids to the mix right now is not what we want. Being so in love with him and knowing we are such a great team definitely makes me think about having kids, but I am glad we are taking our time.

I got an  IUD in, so most likely no kids in the next few years. The weirdest feeling in the world getting it in, and I won’t lie it was a little painful, but manageable. We are relieved to know I will have birth control for the next 5 years regardless of what the administration may decide on funding birth control in the upcoming years.

We are hoping to take a trip to Europe when I finish up with school at some point and I am so excited to travel and go back to Europe. I have missed travelling. As much as I have baby fever, I’m pretty sure my travel bug is a million times worse. It has been three years since my adventures in Europe during my study abroad, and travel is calling my name. I miss being around new places, new people, and learning about the world from new perspectives. It’s always a reminder, even with terrible things happening, how we are all together in this world, and all part of the human race.

So anyways, I need to close the baby name meaning searches, finish this post, and then get back to finishing up a paper for school so I can work on the other 2 papers to finish by Saturday. Then I can get ready for Spring Break to hang out with my twin who is coming to visit!! Haven’t see her since last summer so I’m excited!! (I also hope I don’t have twins even though they’re the best)

-Kayla 🙂

 

 

 

 

Married at last

If anyone told me when I first got engaged that I would be married by the end of the year, I would have thought that person was crazy. But here I am, a married woman. I am so ridiculously happy. With some upcoming changes in his military career, we made the decision on December 1, 2015 to get married on December 31, 2015. It took many days of deliberating, but it was the best choice for us to make. Let me just say, to the people who think it cannot be done in a short amount of time, our wedding is proof that it can be.

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I was surprised by how many people kept expecting me to be nervous about getting married, asking if I was pregnant, or telling my then-fiance that he should back out while he had the chance. I was also pleasantly surprised that so many people were so supportive of the decision. Everyone was taken by surprise, but immediately asked how to help and stepped up to the challenge when asked. Both my family and my in-laws were gung-ho for the entire process and it was so wonderful. Both my husband and myself were running around doing errands every day while he was on leave to get all the information together and put together a wedding, all while I still had to go to work.

And what a wedding it was. The entire event was perfect, and with barely any practice. It was beautiful. We felt so much love that whole day, and the sneak peek pictures I have seen captured it all. It was such a blast all day, and the mini honeymoon we went on was so wonderful as well.

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Now, a week and 1 day later, my husband is flying back to Colorado. Every time we start off a long period of separation, my body revolts. It is little things like this that convince me that we are soul mates, crafted together and shared in two separate bodies joined in love. Luckily, I will be flying out to join him soon, and by early February we will be in our first apartment together and creating our life as our family of two. I am full of so many emotions all at once, but it will be so worth it. I cannot wait to be back in his arms in just about a month.

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-Kayla 🙂

I’m engaged!!!!

20151023_104755I arrived in Colorado Springs on 10/18, totally excited for my boyfriend to arrive back from Kuwait. This deployment felt almost harder than his past combative one simply due to time zones and the overall timing of it. I made a sign and waited for him to get home after one delay. He arrived safe and sound. We were also excited because we would be spending our 4 1/2 years together. We have never been able to be together for big milestones before. Andrew decided to get a room at the Cheyenne Mountain Resort for the weekend to celebrate, have a nice dinner, and some champagne and strawberries. He always does things to make our time together special. Little did I know, it was going to be a bigger night than I expected…

We got up to our room, It was gorgeous, I was having him follow me to the balcony and taking in the sights, the Rocky Mountains. He said it was a bit chilly and wanted to go back into the room. Before I flew out to Colorado Springs, he had asked me to bring the letters he wrote to me; he said he had a plan of putting things together nicely. I didn’t think anything of it, since I had just finished my scrap book/photo album of my travels in Europe from last year. He asked to see the letters, and started to take them out of the envelopes to look at what they were, “I’m just putting them in the order I sent them” he told me. I just sat and watched. Then he told me “There’s one letter I didn’t get to send before I came home…” He drew a question mark on a piece of paper and placed it at the end of his letters. He said “Okay. Figure it out.” I was so confused. I got up off the bed to get a front view of what he had been working on. I just stared at them. There were some shapes at the tops of some of the letters, but it wasn’t making sense to me. “Could you please help me a little? I’m not sure what I’m looking for…” I was literally so confused. “Look at the first letter of each one.” From the time he started writing to me from Kuwait 9 months ago, until now, Andrew had been planning this moment. The letters spelled out “Will you marry me?” I turned to him, and he was on one knee. He said my full name and started to say something nice about us/me. I was so surprised, I cut him off and said “Are you serious?!” I asked him about 3-4 more times and just hugged him so hard. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t crying because I was so happy. He then asked “So, do you want the ring, or….?” And he put the ring on my finger. We are engaged! The way he did this was so perfect, and so surprising, I could not have imagined a better proposal for us. It was so personal and between just the two of us. I have such an amazing man in my life and I am so excited to spend the rest of our lives together.

12032282_10205863659365244_5690403784082254582_n-Kayla ❤ 😀